Anna's Bloviations

I know I'm not the only college parent out there shaking his/her head at the fact that so much money must be hemorrhaged before the college-going offspring 'starts getting it.' Today is one of those days where I feel like the $80,000 spent thus far to send him to college for two years in D.C. is equivalent to having lit a match to a suitcase full of cash.

There are days when my son will demonstrate a sliver of maturity only to do something so utterly stupid the next day that you think surely he was accidentally switched at birth and you got stuck with some kind of genetic mishap. I guess what's really happening is that expectations (mostly mine) are coming into alignment with reality. The son is who he is and will be what he will be and it's not what I expected.

The son has some hard choices ahead. We, his parents, cannot pave the road for him anymore. Can't make things right again. Can’t bandage his boo-boos. At nineteen, he owns his destiny and if he doesn't get his shit together quickly his destiny might very well be a local community college and living in a flea-bitten apartment somewhere nearby. Not that there is anything wrong with a community college. It’s just not what any of us, including the son, aspired for. But if indeed this is where he is supposed to end up, did we have to spend so much money to find out?

I can only hope that very soon a shard of maturity will cut forever the vines of infantility that are starting to choke off doors of opportunity to him. If not, I can only hope he finds a rich wife. He might theoretically be able to grasp what his future holds if he doesn't start rolling up his sleeves, but believe me this Abercrombie boy doesn't have a practical clue what being a part of Senator Edward's 'other America' means.

OH SO TYPICAL. Below is a Cut & Paste from a typical exchange between me (AB) and one of my conservies. Some things may seem a little out of context since they were pulled from an email string but you will get the drift. We were discussing the Bush administration's record deficit when....

AB: The debate over how to measure the deficit is still an ongoing one. Suffice to say that ANY administration is likely to agree with economists whose manipulation of data puts the administration's fiscal mismanagement in the best light -- in this case that the deficit should be seen as a percentage of GDP. Bottom line is that Bush has so far increased total federal spending by 20.4 percent and has yet to veto a single spending bill. The Cato Institute went so far as to accuse Bush of "governing like a Frenchman." Actually this isn't true. At least the French would be smart enough to collect sufficient taxes to offset the expense of their generous social programs.

Conservie: Too bad for you Bush is doing a relatively good job considering the events of this day and age. Your use of the French as a financial beacon is touching, but you again show how far your ignorance can go. French generous social programs? The French have stolen more from poor countries than any other nation on earth. The French were the last to give up their colonies but never surrendered their colonialist economy and colonialist principles. France has funded their social programs on the backs of poor Iraqis and others. Guess in their view equality and liberty don't apply to those long suffering people. At least we are trying to bring the Iraqis democracy and some freedom. In my recollection the government of France has not taken a truly principled and objectively moral stand for over a century. The French are "Jimmy Swaggerts" of Western Europe; always posing and posturing about their moral superiority and lofty goals; and then doing exactly the opposite. Anyway, tax collecting is not what makes social programs or any other spending programs affordable. How can a nation drive in revenue other than taxing people to death? Take a few days to look that up before you answer. . . it's a loaded question.

AB: And you wonder why I make comments about your perhaps having a crack problem... Bush's 'relatively good job' translates to this: Reckless spending combined with deep tax cuts that disproportionately favor the rich do not for long-term sustainability make. Add to that international debt to the tune of 30 percent of America's GDP, a huge number of baby boomers notorious for not squirreling away enough savings and poised to start knocking at the door of government services very soon, free-market-hostile federal subsidies to dead-end industries (oil, gas, and coal) and you've got the 'Perfect Storm' brewing. Or New Age Feudalism... And don't even get me started on Bush's unilateral foreign policy that has alienated much of the world.

As to the French having stolen more from poor countries than any other nation, is stealing 'more' worse than stealing 'less'? Stealing is stealing isn't it? There are plenty of immoral ways to enrich yourself off the backs of others. Black slavery comes to mind... And I would argue that America's record on environmental destruction of other countries for the sake of profits will one day be looked at as no less reprehensible than colonialism was. What's your point other than to mix apples with oranges? My point was clear and based on fact: France spends a lot of money on comprehensive social benefits to its citizenry for which the French are taxed handsomely.

As to France's moralistic posturing, you are simply wrong on that. Historically, the French have never particularly tried to play that card. That's one of their more appealing attributes. They are much more realistic when it comes to human nature. Bush, on the other hand, embraces issues in terms of ethical absolutes i.e. good vs. evil, right vs. wrong. Unfortunately this makes for 'wishful and parochial thinking' at the expense of thorough analysis and good policy.

You say that tax collecting is not what makes social programs or any other spending programs affordable. That's nice. I never said tax collecting makes social programs affordable. I said it helps offset the costs.

Finally, you ask how a nation can drive in revenue other than taxing people to death. Contrary to your wishes, I am not going to take ‘a few days’ to chase down answers to your loaded condescending questions. I have better things to do with my time. Off the cuff, my answers are below:

1) Levy taxes on pollution, non-reusable resources, and obesity so as to discourage what we don't want in order to promote activities we do want. This would in turn help prevent people from being 'taxed to death' since they would now have a shot at living longer -- taxes or no.
2) Other ideas floating out there include revamping the existing estate tax, a means test for entitlements, closing tax loopholes, cutting corporate welfare, and spectrum user fees.
3) Imperialism.

Bye, bye Captain Kangaroo. I don't know about everyone else but I got pretty misty-eyed when I heard that my childhood buddy had passed away. As an only child, Captain Kangaroo and the gang were my sole company the early hours of many a Saturday morning while my mother still slept. Which probably explains a lot... I was an addict of the show. I adored Mr. Moose. And Bunny Rabbit (who always tricked the Captain out of carrots). Grandfather Clock. Mr. Green Jeans and Tom Terrific.

No such sentiments about Mr. Rogers. He always seemed so stiff. So repressed. So anal about everything... Wonder if anyone has done their doctorate thesis on kids who were faithful to (and molded by) the Mr. Rogers' camp versus Captain Kangaroo?

UNUSUAL DELIVERIES

Delivery One -- At 8 a.m., FedEx arrived at our door with a mysterious package addressed to hubby requiring a signature from someone 21-years or older. OK. Want to see how Anna Bloviation's mind really works i.e. I swear to god these were the first two thoughts to go through my head as he started to open the package:

Thought #1 -- Hubby, having just spent two weeks in London by himself, must have gotten really horny one night while looking at a porn site and having had one too many glasses of wine, ordered some kind of kinky sex toy that not even an eighteen-year-old could sign for. Nope. You had to be twenty-one...

Thought #2 -- Some kind of alcoholic beverage was being sent from one of the Type-A-overly-ambitions-MIT-wiz-kids my husband had recently met with at a MIT job recruiting fair. Probably someone blatantly trying to suck up to hubby for a job. Probably the one he mentioned had a killer resume, her own business cards, and was quite attractive...

Turned out the package contained two very expensive bottles of wine from the CEO of the company hubby now works for. It was a thank-you for hubby's help in getting him selected CEO of the company: "I am greatly indebted and hope I get the chance to show you my appreciation. If I can get [Company] to be a large and successful software company, your reference will have been a smart one." And if it doesn't become large and successful.... well, we won't go there.

My rationale that I get to drink the wine too is that hubby would never be as successful as he is now without me and so never would have been in a position to give a CEO referral without me either. In fact I've decided that if [Company] becomes wildly successful, an expensive bottle of wine will be the least he will have to worry about anteing up.

Delivery Two -- A boiler. Yup, a boiler. Our existing one just plum tuckered out in this cold I guess and now we need a new one. Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely appreciative of heat these days but it certainly isn't fun spending $4,000 on something so utilitarian... so in the basement...so why couldn't it have blown after we sell the house and the next tenants have to deal with it?

The BIG EVENT at the State House yesterday went well although had this been something I had staged at a private sector job, I might possibly have been fired...

What went well: All the keynote speakers arrived promptly and spoke eloquently. Having said this, all of the speakers were also politicians who knew there would be friendly media present. Didn't have to do much there.

What didn't go well: the response rate to the mailings we sent out to the local elected officials of each of the municipalities. About six hundred letters were mailed on State House stationary -- replete with personally forged signatures of two Senators and one Representative. Out of that mailing and numerous follow-up communications, we got a showing of fifty officials, thirty of whom we basically dragged in by their hair.... Granted a lot of these local officials have day jobs and cannot easily take off to Boston for the morning but nonetheless, you'd think they would be interested in attending a working meeting to discuss how to mobilize around common issues.

Or not... maybe like myself, they all just think it's just a lot of B.S. Far for me to hold an exclusive on cynicism... I think next year (if I'm still around at this job), I'll have to take a much more aggressive, in-your-face approach with the invitations "Yes Representative, I have sent out letters to your local elected officials but it's up to you to rally them to this event. You see we have a lot of important speakers coming as well as members of the press and we want to have a strong showing in order to demonstrate the reach of our caucus (translation: IF WE DON'T GET WARM BODIES TO THIS EVENT WE ARE ALL GOING TO LOOK LIKE IDIOTS!).

My crush on a certain well-spoken Senator has grown since watching him speak yesterday. I should qualify my crush... I have a crush on his speaking abilities. He does everything ad hoc. He knows his stuff. Never muddles a sentence. Ever. He has an absolutely astonishing command of the English language. I LOVE listening to him speak. Believe me, the crush ends there.

Anna Bloviation's ridiculously optimistic 2004 presidential predictions:

Kerry wins democratic nomination.
Kerry gets Edwards on board for VP position.
Kerry resigns Senate.
Kerry beats Bush thanks to all of the young voters Dean mobilized early on (this is the ridiculously optimistic part...)

Bush dumps Cheney as VP citing 'health' reasons.
Bush asks Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts to be VP.
All political hell breaks loose in MA as the local politicians try to move up the food chain.

What leads me to believe that Kerry will get the nod?

1) The Botox injections. Up until about a month ago Kerry looked like a worn basset hound (and that never is good for getting elected) and now he doesn't. He must have taken his wife's advice (an enthusiastic proponent and user of Botox).

2) He has an attractive wife and gorgeous daughters -- all of whom are supportive. Speaking of wives... What's up with Dean's wife? Not that looks count for everything but would it be too much to ask to brush your hair before you go on national television?

3) He seems to have found his 'groove' in terms of messaging, and his new ad showing him as a young sexy Vietnam soldier will win him lots of brownie points with all of the women voters who miss fantasizing about Clinton (Bush might be a steely Texan but he isn't sexy -- I think it's that blank stare and his excessive malapropisms).

4) Kerry has a war chest of I.O.U.'s to cash in on -- Clark not nearly as many and I'm afraid having Michael Moore's support just isn't going to be enough.

5) Kerry's competition has some real issues: Dean is starting to scare people, Edwards could use some wrinkle injections, Clark doesn't have any ideas, and
Lieberman just doesn't stand a chance.

6) Gut instinct.

PAMPERED: I love my Harper's, my Atlantic Monthly, and my Orion magazines. But you know that (see links to left). Harper's and the Atlantic come out once a month so it is a special treat when my thick glossy Orion arrives in my mailbox too. It gets better... As a state employee, I get Martin Luther King Day off and so have had the whole day to delve and dive and dip into my magazines.

The pay may not be great working for the state but you gotta' love those holidays every month. There's New Year's, Martin Luther King, President's Day, Evacuation Day, Easter, Memorial Day, Flag Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. That's about two weeks right there. Then there are those long, slow summer months with no formal sessions on the calendar... So anyone with half a brain works out a schedule with the co-worker conducive to beach days and extended weekends at the very least. My first year working as a state employee I calculate that I had six weeks vacation including the state holidays. Add to those great health benefits, the fact that I work about a thirty-hour week, and my free parking privileges and now my pay isn't looking so pathetic! Your Government Hard at Work, baby! Now, now. Before you get all huffy, I'll have you know that you are definitely getting your money's worth with Anna Bloviation's at the heel. There are plenty of people, including my co-worker, who while physically present at the State House every day, don't actually work. It's the online Solitaire Capital of the world I tell you.

Down side to Martin Luther King Day. This Wednesday there is a BIG EVENT that I and the offices of two Senators have organized. The Speaker of the House will be there. The Senate President. The Lt. Governor. All of the members of the North East Legislative Caucus. Invited elected officials of the municipalities. The problem is we have no idea how many people will be in attendance. Other than the speakers who have committed to inspirational blah-blah speeches, we have no clue how many members or elected officials are coming. With Monday as a holiday, this gives us just TUESDAY to round up some firm numbers, order food and coffee, etc. We started making some calls on Friday and got either "Yes it is on so-and-so's calendar as a tentative." Or, "Would you mind faxing a copy of the invitation? We seem to have misplaced it." Or, "I'm sorry; we are a skeleton staff today. We really can't help you." All righty then.

Couple of goodies from Harper's not available online:

From Harper's Index: Number of times a Hummer H2 could be driven around the world on the excess calories Americans consume each year: 244.

Also from Harper's: WEAPON OF MASS DEDUCTION. The following letter was sent last August to potential customers from Chris Thorpe of the Anchorage Chrysler Center in Alaska. Allow me to introduce you to a fabulous opportunity. A tax loophole so big you could drive a HUMMER H2 through it! Imagine being able to purchase the #1 large luxury SUV in America today, the HUMMER H2, and receive a deduction for the entire purchase amount from your taxes this year! How is this possible? Thanks to the Bush Administration's recent economic-stimulus package, small businesses and the self-employed are eligible to deduct the entire purchase cost of new equipment up to $100,000 the year of the purchase. The HUMMER H2 qualifies for this IRS Sec. 179 deduction by its gross vehicle weight rating of over 6,000 lbs. Cars and medium-size SUVs don't qualify for this deduction. If you are seriously considering acquisition of a new vehicle, step up to the vehicle that can take you where you want to be, financially and otherwise. I invite you to join our HUMMER family and experience the lifestyle you deserve.

All righty then...

Worst job I could possibly think of today: being a State Trooper obliged to stand outside the State House in these sub-zero temperatures. Even the guys who stand inside by the security checkpoints don't have it much better. It's almost worse actually -- the heat but a tease as arctic air blasts inside each time the doors open.

My walk from the subway station to the office has taken on new dimensions. Swathed in layers of polar fleece and wool, head and shoulders hunkered down, I tear up the windy street -- nothing exposed but my eyes which hurt from the icy air. Fellow pedestrians pass by similarly clad -- it's quite strange to see nothing but another person's eyes peering out from twists of scarf. Fashion becomes so not important. One is impressed only by a person's ability to dress sufficiently warmly and not waddle or topple over under all of the layers.

Home life has also taken on somewhat of a new dimension. Working on my computer in my little office is quite impossible. The outside wall and the window framed within it are right next to my desk and it's like sitting next to an iceberg. Socks and slippers are mandatory; the cold air seeping up from the basement through the wood floors has chilled the floors to refrigerator-cold degrees.

I do still take the dog out. For very quick walks. Cursing under my breath helps to keep me warm: S***, f***, god-damn it's f***** cold... If you had told me fifteen years ago I would move from California to brave a wind-chill factor of -35 degrees Fahrenheit I would have, well, told you that you were out of your mind.

Instead of pictures of Mars, how about investing that money in developing alternative energy sources. 'Cause when in 40 years the oil is all gone and we are freezing and cursing that we could have ever followed Bush and his dead-end energy strategy, it ain't going to be pretty. Think Islamist terrorists are whackos? Try cold and armed American white-trash sleezos and hood scrubs terrorizing neighborhoods for spare wood.

I have spent days working on testimony speaking against a charter school opening in the city I help represent: a speech for the Board of Education. A letter to the Department of Education. At the end of the day, not one word to come out of the good Representative's mouth will be his. Much like Bush, my boss can barely string two coherent sentences together and yet at the end of the day, he will be the one shining in the light of the audience and press. He will also get the bigger bucks. And I will continue to wallow as a frustrated writer making other people look good.

No one to blame but myself of course. Such a funk puts me in no mood to write here. God if your own blog page feels like an 'obligation' you know things have hit writer's-block bottom.

OK, I'll tell you one fun story lest I bore you with liberal whining. The son and his friends came for pizza dinner the night before he went back to college. I somehow got them to produce their fake I.D.'s for me to take a look at. Let me officially say that the fake I.D. industry has to be getting help from turning-a-blind-eye-states desperate for the revenue these under-aged college drinkers pour into the economy every year. There was no telling the difference between my legitimate Massachusetts license and that of my son's friend. Cost? $100. It was a perfect replica. You don't think the State of Massachusetts isn't turning a blind eye to the disappearance of machinery necessary to produce such perfect specimens? Massachusetts is practically the college capital of the world -- no way they could or would want to do without the revenue underage drinking generates no matter what moral high horse they ride publicly.

New Jersey is supposedly the most prevalently faked license. That's the one my son has. Replete with hologram, he is a 'twenty-two' year-old male who lives at X Street in New Jersey. No one has ever questioned its authenticity -- neither club nor liquor store.

What the hell? At 2 p.m. Friday afternoon my dog started barking. I trounced downstairs to find three ethnically ambiguous, rather big and burly strange men standing in my kitchen. The scene was so surreal that I didn't even bother to fire up the neurons as to why this was so. The how , however, was easy. I always, until 2:12 p.m. Friday afternoon, left all my doors unlocked. I am simply not hard-wired to think that anything bad is ever going to happen and if it is meant to happen then a locked door probably won't prevent it from happening.

No it was not brain neurons, but adrenalin that fired up in me at that particular moment. Adrenalin revs up your body to either fight or flee. Inexplicably, my 125-pound small-boned frame inevitably chooses fight over flight. I have chosen the later course of action on some occasions but on this one I felt absolutely no fear in spite of a cummulative 550 lb. advantage standing across from me. So what? I think. They are just boys.

The first order of the day is to gain the psychological upper-hand as quickly as possible. The barking dog was helping me in this area because in reality the odds were heavily stacked in the three men's favor; I frankly would not have stood much of a chance had they had any sinister plans. I establish direct eye contact with whom I perceive is the alpha male. I stare directly at him. And then I don the 'look' that has up until this point in my life withered a petulant husband and offspring alike for over twenty years. "What are you doing here? May I help you?"

"You told us the door would be unlocked and to come in," says the alpha male.

"No I think you are mistaken. I told you no such thing." I smile as if it is a common occurrence for there to be such a misunderstanding and that three BIG men should be standing in my kitchen uninvited. I glance outside the window and notice a big white truck blocking my driveway. "What house were you looking for?" I demand. I make no attempt to stop my dog's barking and she is taking full advantage of the fact that she is not, as usual, being admonished for making such a racket. The pitch of her bark alone would be enough to drive anyone away.

"This is 3 JohnDoe Street, right?" says the alpha male a bit more tentatively.

"No. That would be the house next door." I begin moving toward the kitchen door so that they will get the idea that they too should be moving toward the kitchen door. Apologies, so-sorry's, and sheepish smiles exit out to the bitter cold. "Please move your truck right away if you don't mind. I will be leaving in a few minutes."

Life is often a funny chain of events. What if I had not decided at the last minute to stay home to work? My house would have been open. The three men would have mistakenly walked into my house. The dog would have not barked so bravely with me not around to impress. Consequently, I guess one of three things could have happened: 1) They would have figured out that they were in the wrong house and left 2) They would have noticed that they were in a nice yuppy-ish house and helped themselves to the wares, or 3) they would have ripped out my kitchen under the assumption that they were at the right house and this was the kitchen they were supposed to renovate. It is the fourth 'thing' that now makes me lock the door.... What if it had been 3 p.m. instead of 2 p.m. and my drop-dead gorgeous seventeen-year-old daughter would have been home alone when they came in?

Conversation at the Audi Dealership:

Audi Service Rep: "I'm awfully sorry. Your paperwork doesn't match up with any of the tagged keys hanging here. I just don't know where they could have put your keys. Do any of them look like they might be yours?"

I stare bewildered at twenty identical black Audi keys and shake my head no. An additional ten minutes staring at them proves an unsuccessful endeavor. Desperate, we grab a bunch of keys out of the box, go out to the parking lot, and start hitting the panic buttons to see if any get my car alarm going. Nothing. We walk back inside.

"This is terrible. I'm so sorry, says the service rep. "We'll give you a free rental today and get this all straightened out tomorrow when the other service reps are in."

The son is with me and I ask him to go out to his car to get my purse so we can do up the paperwork. "Sure Mom." The service rep turns a shade red. She smiles. "Gosh," she says after the son has gone outside. "Did he just call you mom? I'm not even going to tell you what I was thinking..."

"Well," I say. "We have Demi Moore to thank for that. Believe me you wouldn't have been thinking what you were thinking ten years ago."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." After a pause she says, "I don't understand all of these older women going after younger men these days. I mean what do you talk about with someone twenty years younger than you?"

"You don't," I answer. "That's the point."

I spared my son this dialogue between me and the Audi woman. He would have been understandably mortified. And I certainly have no intention of giving him any excuse not to accompany me on errands now and again. After all, one of the few redeeming benefits of having a nineteen-year-old college son is the fact that they have nineteen-year-old muscles equipped to effortlessly lug heavy things around for you.

Note to self: continue buying the Estee Lauder Resilience Life Extra-Firming Revitalizing Mask daughter gave me for Christmas.

Second note to yours truely: quit deluding yourself...

ORGANUCKS CONTINUED. When last we left off, Starbucks had just spun off 'Organucks' -- a chic holistic/organic cafe-supermarket which has successfully and cleverly shed the crunchy-granola-Birkenstock image usually associated with the terms holistic and organic. Organucks' target audience is the discerning consumer willing to pay for food products certifiably cleansed and free of pesticides, hormones, antibiotics and other harmful substances. This demographic profile is not to be confused with the socially-and-environmentally-conscious consumer. The Organucks' customer likes the ideals of being socially responsible as long as those ideals don't infringe or crimp their lifestyles. Our Organucks' customer, at the end of the day, just wants the best for moi. In other words: through what massively energy-consuming channels their organic food is delivered or how meagerly a wage the farmers who produce this food are paid is buried safely deep within the sub-conscious of the Organucks' customers' brains. Nor do they particularly care by what energy-wasting means they must go through to get to the product they want. Is it socially or environmentally conscionable to drive ten miles in an S.U.V. to buy that wonderful organic goat cheese Organucks is offering? Who are we kidding here... No our Organucks' customers care only that those wholesome natural anti-oxidant blueberries pulse through their veins.

One now waddles her shopping cart out to her Ford Expedition. She is a perfectly nice woman. She loves her children. She would like to lose about fifteen pounds but just can't seem to do it. She volunteers at the library and takes care of her invalid mother. She carefully loads fifteen double-bagged plastic bags brimming with 'certified organic' food products into the back. Never mind that the high-density polyethylene (HDPE) plastic bags are a sacrilege to the contents within. Introduced just a generation ago, the plastic bag has descended upon this planet like a virulent locust. An estimated sixty-five million plastic bags end up as litter in Australia each year alone. Plastic bags are consumed worldwide at a rate of almost one million per minute--over five hundred billion plastic bags annually. Social pundits in South Africa have named the plastic bag the 'national flower.'

In this one blip of a moment, this one woman in this one town has thirty plastic bags in the back of her 'United We Stand' truck. Twelve million barrels of oil per year are used to make the bags consumed in the United States plus god knows how many million barrels more so that she can drive five miles in her mammoth-mobile to this store. Not to mention that the HDPE in plastic bags sticks around the planet up to a thousand years and when it does eventually break down it is into tiny toxic bits polluting the very soil, river, lakes and oceans from which the woman hopes to buy her organic food. Well this nice womandoesn't have to worry about it, does she...

Oh but wait I forgot. Organucks, will of course sell these: ReusableBags.com

Repeat after me, "I don't need a plastic bag -- I can carry these couple of things to the car myself."

Anna Bloviation's 2004 crystal ball...

Holistic/Organic dog food?? I'm sure my friends out on the west coast have probably had such a product on their shelves for some time now but I hadn't seen it here on the east coast (or maybe I just hadn't noticed) until yesterday (at Trader Joe's). Now you know a trend has taken off when you start seeing it transferred to the pet aisle (or junk food aisle e.g. organic Cheetoh's...). So heed the advice I gave you last year and keep buying stock in companies which have a good foot-hold in the certified organic market and pray that some whacko terrorist doesn't muck things up by poisoning the water supply.

I predict that one of the big restaurant chains will start offering a holistic/organic menu to its customers. My bet would be Starbuck's. In my crystal ball I can see an 'Organucks' opening up first in Seattle and then San Francisco. I see the walls decorated with glossy, wall-sized posters featuring happy tomato plants and free-range chickens thriving in their pesticide/hormone/antibiotic/genetic-modification-free environment. A sun-bronzed farmer in overalls stands looking out upon his pristine wheat fields -- a happy, holistically-fed border collie nipping at the free range grass-grazing sheep in the distance. Perhaps one section of the store has a sit-down cafe. And due to 'Organucks' savvy marketing campaign, customers sit imagining that every savory bite of greenbean and almond-sliver salad coursing through their veins is delivering sun-kissed goodness to every cell in their bodies. On the other side of the store I see aisles of nicely-packaged organic food products proclaiming the end to ever a consumer having to put anything harmful into his/her body (or pet's body) again. Outside sits a parking lot full of SUV's -- their corpulent rear ends being stuffed with bags of groceries touting to be 'yucky stuff' free. Meanwhile, not five smooth-paved miles away, the Mexican gardener is spraying pesticides on these Organuck customers' McMansion-green-lawns not two feet away from their McMansion front doors.... But that's OK because these consumers also buy cases of bottled water from certifiably pure-and-pristine sources -- the 24-pack of little plastic bottles all neatly wrapped in shrink-wrap plastic. 'Pure-and-pristine' -- shrink-wrapped and yours for the right price.

Rear-projection TV's. According to the NY Times (Dec.24), the hot-ticket item to put under the tree this year was a rear-projection television set. Lord knows how you explain to the kids how Santa got one of those suckers down the chimney but where there's a will, there's a way I guess. The price tag for one of these televisions is between $2000-$5000 -- a lot more than most people's George-W-tax-refund. A CNN poll yesterday found that about 30% of the population says it will need at least six months to repay their holiday debt. The good news for the administration is that all of these up-to-their-ears-in-debt folks will no doubt be camping out in front of their new mammoth-sized rear-projection televisions listening to the networks telling them how wonderful their lives are -- news, I'm afraid, as fake as the turkey President Bush served up to the troops in Iraq on Thanksgiving. Thus will a good chunk of the American public remain as comatosely apathetic and disinterested as the administration wants it to be at least until June. The bad news is that come June 2004, the administration is going to need the next big choreographed ka-pow whopper story to make sure America doesn't come out of its Fox-News stupor long enough to realize that Bush's fiscal and foreign policies are based on a dead-end vision for the future i.e. dependence on oil is most certainly not a sustainable long-term one.

Year of De-Enlightenment. Not that humanity has ever seemed particularly enlightened to me but what little there was of it is at risk thanks to the one prevailing 24/7-broadcasted message to come out of 2003: Diplomacy has been rendered a farce. At the end of the day, the guy with the biggest stick (and willing to use it) wins. Period. As my conservative friend who came for dinner last night said, "Anna, it's what the world understands and respects." Seems to me that buying into this notion pretty much puts mankind right back where it started 50,000 years ago, doesn't it? You know -- the Neanderthal guy whacking the other guy over the head with a club for the last remaining firewood.... Of course as my other friend, the Polish Physics Professor, once aptly pointed out, "It is naive to think that the passage of TIME should necessarily denote PROGRESS."

The gift to give this year for Christmas was an iPod! The one I and the very happy kids got stores 5,000 songs -- so far I have culled together a meager mix of 300 songs -- a mix of existing CD's, illegal downloads (the bulk of my library), and .99-each iTunes songs... I frankly cannot possibly fathom that I'll ever have thousands more songs I'll want to include but I guess if I put my mind and pocketbook to the task, I can do it. Yikes. As in if I do everything legally, I could spend about $4,700 on music in addition to the $399 I spent for the iPod.

I'd be a lot further along in my downloading, but hubby keeps having these 'epiphanies' designed to make the whole iPod experience bigger, better, and badder -- the bottom line being that I haven't been getting a lot of access to the computer to putz around for songs.

My music tastes? Eclectic baby. Here is a priliminary list. Keep in mind that these tunes serve a multitude of purposes: dog walking, working out, train ride home, and traveling. As you can see, I prefer a funky beat to the classics. Having said that, I do intend to download some opera and lots more jazz. Classic rock is sorely lacking too (Led Zepplin being my favorite). Doubt I'll get much classical on my iPod however; I need to wake up, not fall asleeep.

(Maxipriest & Shaggy) - That Girl 3:46
In Da Club (Dirty) 3:40 50 Cent In Da Club-BW-Back Down VLS Hip-Hop
Changes 4:29 2pac
18Dj Skribble (essential dance 2000) - 18 - fragma - toca's miracle 4:14
It's Over Now 4:05 112 New Title (478)
A Woman's Worth 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Try Again (Romeo Must Die) 4:39 Aaliyah
aerosmith - Dream On (best version) 4:14
Save Me (magnolia Soundtrack) 4:34 Aimee Mann Other
Better Of Alone 5:26 Alice Deejay & Dj Jurgen Trance
Alice DJ - Elemants Of Life 3:34
g-2000 - millenium(dj alice mix) 0:01 Various Artists mixed by DJ Emotion Focus misc 2 1/1/2004 2:31 PM
This Is Your Night 3:59 Amber Blues 1 1/1/2004 2:42 PM
Everyday 3:25 Dave Matthews Band America: Tribute to Heroes Alternative
ANASTASIA - I'm Outta Love 4:05
Hope 3:28 Shaggy PromoOnly Mainstream Radio-Sep Top 40
strawberry fields forever 4:27 ben harper I am Sam Soundtrack Other
You Can Always Go 3:38 Jagged Edge And Blaque Feat R. Big Mamma's House Soundtrack
BLACK EYED PEAS feat MACY GRAY_Request Line 4:30
Bullets 0:15 Bob Schneider Lonelyland Ambient Alternative 2 1/1/2004 2:30 PM
The Gank 4:31 Nelly Nellyville
Butterflyz 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Caged Bird 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Chad Krueger - Hero 3:16
Julia 4:34 Chocolate Genius I am Sam Soundtrack Pop
Christina Aguilera - Come on Over (radio remix - CD quality) 3:23
Genie In A Bottle 4:01 Christina Aguilera (LC-REMIX) www.Invisible-VIP.de RemixeZ Hip-Hop
CLASSIC Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama 4:44
Clubbin Ft. Joe Budden 4:11 Marques Houston
Trouble 3:54 Coldplay Parachutes Rock
We Never Change 4:09 Coldplay Parachutes Rock
In My Place (New Album V

The gift to give this year for Christmas was an iPod! The one I and the very happy kids got stores 5,000 songs -- so far I have culled together a meager mix of 300 songs -- a potpourri of existing CD's, illegal downloads (the bulk of my library), and .99-each iTunes songs... I frankly cannot possibly fathom that I'll ever have thousands more songs I'll want to include but I guess if I put my mind and pocketbook to the task, I can do it. Yikes. As in if I do everything legally, I could spend about $4,700 on music in addition to the $399 I spent for the iPod.

I'd be a lot further along in my downloading, but hubby keeps having these 'epiphanies' designed to make the whole iPod experience bigger, better, and badder -- the bottom line being that I haven't been getting a lot of access to the computer to putz around for songs.

My music tastes? Eclectic baby. Here is a preliminary list. Keep in mind that these tunes serve a multitude of purposes: dog walking, working out, train ride home, and traveling. As you can see, I prefer a funky beat to the classics. Having said that, I do intend to download some opera and lots more jazz. Classic rock is sorely lacking too (Led Zepplin being my favorite). Doubt I'll get much classical on my iPod however; I need to wake up, not fall asleep.

(Maxipriest & Shaggy) - That Girl 3:46
In Da Club (Dirty) 3:40 50 Cent In Da Club-BW-Back Down VLS Hip-Hop
Changes 4:29 2pac
18Dj Skribble (essential dance 2000) - 18 - fragma - toca's miracle 4:14
It's Over Now 4:05 112 New Title (478)
A Woman's Worth 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Try Again (Romeo Must Die) 4:39 Aaliyah
aerosmith - Dream On (best version) 4:14
Save Me (magnolia Soundtrack) 4:34 Aimee Mann Other
Better Of Alone 5:26 Alice Deejay & Dj Jurgen Trance
Alice DJ - Elemants Of Life 3:34
g-2000 - millenium(dj alice mix) 0:01 Various Artists mixed by DJ Emotion Focus misc 2 1/1/2004 2:31 PM
This Is Your Night 3:59 Amber Blues 1 1/1/2004 2:42 PM
Everyday 3:25 Dave Matthews Band America: Tribute to Heroes Alternative
ANASTASIA - I'm Outta Love 4:05
Hope 3:28 Shaggy PromoOnly Mainstream Radio-Sep Top 40
strawberry fields forever 4:27 ben harper I am Sam Soundtrack Other
You Can Always Go 3:38 Jagged Edge And Blaque Feat R. Big Mamma's House Soundtrack
BLACK EYED PEAS feat MACY GRAY_Request Line 4:30
Bullets 0:15 Bob Schneider Lonelyland Ambient Alternative 2 1/1/2004 2:30 PM
The Gank 4:31 Nelly Nellyville
Butterflyz 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Caged Bird 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Chad Krueger - Hero 3:16
Julia 4:34 Chocolate Genius I am Sam Soundtrack Pop
Christina Aguilera - Come on Over (radio remix - CD quality) 3:23
Genie In A Bottle 4:01 Christina Aguilera (LC-REMIX) www.Invisible-VIP.de RemixeZ Hip-Hop
CLASSIC Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama 4:44
Clubbin Ft. Joe Budden 4:11 Marques Houston
Trouble 3:54 Coldplay Parachutes Rock
We Never Change 4:09 Coldplay Parachutes Rock
In My Place (New Album Version) 3:50 Coldplay
Coldplay - Clocks 5:07 Other
For You 5:43 Coldplay Pop
Sparks 3:47 Coldplay Parachutes Pop
Isley Brothers - Its Your Thing 2:43 Various Artists Pure Funk Volume 2 rock
creed - My Sacrafice MP3 4:59
Take Five 5:25 Dave Brubeck Jazz
Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me 5:16
Dave Matthews Band - Sattelite 4:51
7 days!!s.mp3 3:54 David Craig R&B
Please Forgive Me 0:26 David Gray White Ladder General Rock 2 1/1/2004 2:31 PM
Dance with Me 3:40 Debelah Morgan Promo Only Mainstream Radio Ju Pop
Destiny's Child-Survivor 4:00
Bills Bills Bills 4:15 Destiny's Child The Writing On The Wall R&B
I See Right Through to You 3:46 Dj Encore Feat. Engelina Euro Promo Dance 423 Septembar Dance
dru hill - how deep is your love-rush hour soundtrack 4:09
What Its Like 5:03 Everlast whitey ford sings the blues Alternative
fabolous feat nate dogg - you cant deny it 3:51
Fallin' 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Alecia Keys 3:18 Falling R&B
Fire and Roses 5:19 Mimi Soak Rock
My Heart Goes Boom 3:37 French Affair 21st Century Mp3 Dance
Ginuwine - Pony 5:37
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away (Beatles) 2:10 Eddie Vedder I Am Sam (sdtk) Sound Track
don't let me down 4:10 Stereophonics I am Sam Soundtrack Other
We Can Work It Out 2:16 Heather Nova I am Sam Soundtrack Other
Jane Doe 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Jock Jams - Are You Ready For This 3:25
Let Me Clear My Throat 3:50 Jock Jams Other
Jock Jams - I Like To Move It 3:40
Give Peace A Chance 4:54 John Lennon Other
Going to California 3:54 Led Zeppelin
Let Me Stand Next To Your Fire - Live Jimmy Hendrix & the Doors 3:38
Little Troy - Want to Be a Baller 5:54
Family Affairs.... (Main) 4:10 Mary J. Blige Family Affairs (Promo CDS) R&B
Sing For The Moment (HHG) 5:39 McEMINEM TES General Rap
Let's Get Ready to Rumble 3:52 Michael Buffer Jock Jams Vol. 1
Michael Jackson and the Jacksons - Don't Stop Till You Get Enough 6:04
The Rain 3:56 Missy Elliot R&B
N Tainted Love - Marylin Manson 3:18 Other
Icey (ft The St.Lunatics) 4:13 Nelly Bait Soundtrack Rap
Otis Reeding - Dock or the Bay 2:41
When a man love a woman 2:56 Otis reeding Other
Rosa Parks 5:24 Outcast Other
The Whole World 4:55 Outkast The Whole World Rap
Where Are You 5:23 Paffendorf Techno
Paul Simon - 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover 3:32
African Skies 3:38 Paul Simon Other
Paul Simon - Chevy Chase - You Can Call Me Al 4:40
Paul Simon - Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes 5:45
Hey, You've Got To Hide Your Love Away 2:08 Ed Vedder I Am Sam soundtrack
Piano & I 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B 2 1/1/2004 6:30 PM
Most Girls 4:58 Pink Can't Take Me Home Pop 1 1/1/2004 6:35 PM
Pink - There You Go 2:24 1 1/1/2004 6:37 PM
Ghetto Superstars 4:21 Pras Feat. ODB and Mya Bulworth Soundtrack Rap 1 1/1/2004 6:41 PM
Primitive Radio Gods - Motor of Joy[1] 3:24 1 1/1/2004 6:45 PM
He Got Game 4:45 Public Enemy Other 1 1/1/2004 6:49 PM
I'll be Missing You (MTV Video Music Awards) 4:50 Puff Daddy and Sting Other
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody 3:58 1 1/1/2004 6:57 PM
Birdland 3:15 Quincy Jones Feat. Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie, James Moody, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, George Benson & Take 6 - R&B 1 1/1/2004 7:00 PM
Rock Wit You 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B 1 1/1/2004 7:00 PM
Rock-Sublime - What I Got 2:34 1 1/1/2004 7:03 PM
tell me something good 3:28 rufus/chaka khan pure funk Funk 1 1/1/2004 7:06 PM
Rush Hour 2 - Dont Stop Till You Get Enough 6:04 1 1/1/2004 7:12 PM
War. What is it Good For? 3:20 Jackie Chan Rush Hour Soundtrack 1 1/1/2004 7:16 PM
blackbird 2:21 sarah mclachlan I am Sam Soundtrack Other 2 1/1/2004 7:18 PM
Possession 4:39 Sarah McLachlan Other
Angel 4:29 Sarah McLachlan City Of Angels Soundtrack
I Will Remember You 4:57 Sarah McLachlan Other
It Wasn't Me 3:47 Shaggy Hot Shot R&B
Shaggy - Mr. Boombastic (Summer Remix) 4:36
The Thong Song 4:15 Sisqo Unleash The Dragon-Sampler R&B
Desert Rose (with Cheb Mami) 4:45 Sting Brand New Day Pop
Sting - I'll Be Watching You 4:15
Roxanne 3:14 Sting & The Police The Very Best Of AlternRock
Love Is The Seventh Wave 3:32 Sting The Dream Of The Blue Turtles Drum & Bass
Bloody Well Right 4:16 Supertramp Classics - Volume 9 Classic Rock
The Logical Song 4:11 Supertramp Breakfast In America Pop
Dreamer 3:24 Supertramp Crime Of The Century Classic Rock
Supertramp - Give A Little Bit 4:08
Three Doors Down - Superman Kryptonite 3:54
This Is How We Do It 4:39 Old School Rap Montell Jordan
Luv 2 Luv U 6:40 Timbaland & Magoo Hip-Hop
tlc - Creap 4:28
Toya - I Do 3:40
Dreams And Visions 4:29 Tracy Chapman 07 Other
tracy chapman - fast car (acoustic) 6:30
Get Up, Stand Up 3:45 Tracy Chapman Reggae
tracy chapman - give me one reason (live with eric clapton) 3:15
In the Ghetto (with Natalie Merchant) 4:12 Tracy Chapman Other
The Promise 4:57 Tracy Chapman Other
tracy chapman - Run 2:39
tracy chapman - save a place for me 1:49
tracy chapman - the thrill is gone 4:59
tracy chapman - Turn My Back Around 4:29
You Got It Bad(Soul Power Remi 4:09 Usher You Got It Bad(Cd Single) R&B
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby 4:26 Other
The Roots feat. Erikah Badu - Baby You Got Me 4:40 Other
Tango De Roxan 4:43 Ewan Mcgregor Jacek Koman Moulin Rouge Sound Track
Sade - Smooth Operator (Extended Smooth Jazz Version) 8:50 Other
Jack Johnson - BubbleToes 3:56 Other
Dave Matthews Band - Grace is Gone (accoustic) 3:36 Other
Are You That Somebody? 4:27 Aaliyah Doctor Dolittle Soundtrack Soundtrack
She cries your name (original) 5:05 William Orbit / Beth Orton SuperPinkMandy Pop
Tu Pac--Broken Wings(1) 4:28 Other 1 1/1/2004 1:21 PM
Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) 4:39 US3 Hand on the Torch R&B/Soul 1 1/1/2004 3:26 PM
I Put a Spell On You 2:24 Screamin' Jay Hawkins Sony Music 100 Years: R&B - From Doo-Wop to Hip-Hop R&B/Soul
Girlfriend 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
How Come You Don't Call Me 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Troubles 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Goodbye 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
The Life 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Mr. Man (Duet With Jimmy Cozier) 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Never Felt This Way (Interlude) 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Why Do I Feel So Sad 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
Lovin U (Bonus Track) 0:00 Alicia Keys Songs In A Minor R&B
On The Bound 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
To Your Love 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
Limp 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
Love Ridden 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
Paper Bag 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
A Mistake 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
Fast As You Can 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
The Way Things Are 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
Get Gone 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
I Know 0:00 Fiona Apple When The Pawn... Alternative & Punk
Statesboro Blues 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Ramblin' Man 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Midnight Rider 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Southbound 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Melissa 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Jessica 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Ain't Wastin' Time No More 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Little Martha 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Crazy Love 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Revival 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Wasted Words 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Blue Sky 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
One Way Out 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
In Memory Of Elizabeth Reed 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Dreams 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Whipping Post 0:00 The Allman Brothers Band The Allman Brothers-A Decade Of Hits 1969 - 1979 Rock
Sleep To Dream 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Sullen Girl 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Shadowboxer 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Criminal 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Slow Like Honey 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
The First Taste 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Never Is A Promise 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
The Child Is Gone 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Pale September 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Carrion 0:00 Fiona Apple Tidal Rock
Why Didn't You Call Me 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
Do Something 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
Caligula 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
I Try 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
I Can't Wait To Meetchu 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
Still 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
I've Committed Murder 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
A Moment To Myself 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
The Letter 0:00 Macy Gray On How Life Is R&B
Wurlitzer Prize (I Don't Want to Get Over You) 2:39 Norah Jones Lonesome, On'ry and Mean - A Tribute to Waylon Jennings Country
Don't Know Why 3:06 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Seven Years 2:25 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Cold Cold Heart 3:38 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Feelin' the Same Way 2:57 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Come Away With Me 3:18 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Shoot the Moon 3:56 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Turn Me On 2:34 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Lonestar 3:06 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
I've Got to See You Again 4:13 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Painter's Song 2:42 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
One Flight Down 3:05 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
Nightingale 4:12 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
The Long Day Is Over 2:44 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
The Nearness of You 3:07 Norah Jones Come Away With Me Vocal
New York City 5:07 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock
Strange Transmissions 4:08 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock
Deceptively Yours 4:18 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock
All Your Love 4:35 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock
Heart of Mine 5:08 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock
Things You Don't Have to Do 3:12 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock
New York City (Radio Edit) 3:50 Norah Jones & The Peter Malick Group New York City Rock