Tuesday, August 23, 2005
A Casket For Everybody. Back in 2004 I reported on Goliath Caskets -- a thriving business based in Illinois that caters to the growing trend (no pun intended) of obese corpses. Rather than the standard 28" wide casket, Goliath offers 49-inch caskets wide enough to accommodate the formaldehyde-filled blubber of even the fattest of Uncle Ernie's (sniffle, sniffle, "Oh that's just how I remember Uncle Ernie! Didn't they do a wonderful job on him?" Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and down go at least three gallons of toxic formaldehyde along with the $5000 casket). But enter Laterlife.com, one of many new companies to offer their services to the politically correct corpse. For a couple of hundred dollars, you can get yourself a simple pine box and be lowered down to the worms. You'll be a stone's throw from a trickling creek and lie beneath a beautiful field of sunflowers. The Calvin Klein minimalist burial if you will. That said, 96% of the population (even the very young), has any number of non-biodegradable toxic substances coursing through his/her system. So unless we are willing to be lowered into a less-than-pristine burial ground (a landfill perhaps?), should we not reconsider this notion of the "Eco-Burial?" We wouldn't want to be the leading cause of cancer amongst worms nor be responsible for manically dwarfed sunflowers would we? My suggestion would be that we re-invigorate the flagging and de-moralized NASA program by employing the Discovery to transport our noxious remains to outerspace. I'm sure the inanimate asteroids wouldn't mind our company.
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