Tuesday, July 26, 2005
VP of Nervousness. The kids and I were all on Code Red Alert. Our job was to make sure every inch of the house and garden look amazing and to come across as a charming, gorgeous, gracious family. To this end the grounds were weed-free, kelly-green-groomed amidst ravishing flowers. To this end the interior of the house gleamed clean and spotless -- the refrigerators stock full with drinks. To this end we practiced our smiles in the mirror and collected our summer's worth of respective stories that might entertain and impress hubby's company-invited guests.
All that remained was for the Corporate Wife Who Can't Cook to make a run to Costco so that our many arrivees might actually have something to eat. That was the plan anyway until hubby decided to make a pot of coffee. A task at which he is perfectly capable and has done for years. But nervous he was and he put the grounds into where you are supposed to put the water. That mess finally cleaned, he made a second attempt. This time he neglected to put the coffee pot underneath the filter. Ten cups of missing-the-target coffee poured into the drawer below, onto the counter, and all over the floor. Unable to put the blame on any nearby humans (his favorite tact), he blamed the coffee machine...
Smash of a party... Thank you Costco for your great party food (your avocado dip is outstanding) and for treating your employees well. Thank you Great Aunt Tauty for teaching me to have a great time at my own party. You were right. You said 1) Tell everyone you are a lousy cook. 2) Marry someone who can cook and/or have enough money to afford caterers. 3) Tell your guests good naturedly that they will go hungry and thirsty if they do not fend for themselves (even our British guests seemed to rally to the concept) 4) Pour yourself a big glass of wine and enjoy.
And speaking of treating employees well... (Costco)... A few glasses of wine later, I did make a request to the CEO of hubby's company to please make sure hubby's next pay raise at least give us the delta that would allow me to quit this ridiculous State House job I have. The flexibility of work hours simply does not make up for the mediocrity and corruption one must acquiesce to and which makes it harder and harder to look oneself in the mirror.
In the meantime... the House and Senate approved a perfectly cowardly energy bill -- one that not only does not reduce the United State's dependence of foreign oil but will also serve to make the oil companies EVEN RICHER via undeserved tax breaks and at the expense of our public lands. Meanwhile the Harper's Index says that the number of new U.S. soldiers the Army would need in 2006 to replenish ranks abroad is 80,000. The percentage of this goas it expects to meet is 9.9. The number of Iraqi troops that have been "trained and equipped," according to Bush in April is 150,000. However the number that the U.S. military considers ready to deploy independently is 1,500.
And finally the silly. Also is Harper's: Number of Pepsi products plainly visible in a May TV ad for Arnold Schwarzenegger: 5. And the selling price in June for a bar of soap allegedly made from the liposuctioned fat of Silvio Berlusconi: $18,000. Oh boy....
All that remained was for the Corporate Wife Who Can't Cook to make a run to Costco so that our many arrivees might actually have something to eat. That was the plan anyway until hubby decided to make a pot of coffee. A task at which he is perfectly capable and has done for years. But nervous he was and he put the grounds into where you are supposed to put the water. That mess finally cleaned, he made a second attempt. This time he neglected to put the coffee pot underneath the filter. Ten cups of missing-the-target coffee poured into the drawer below, onto the counter, and all over the floor. Unable to put the blame on any nearby humans (his favorite tact), he blamed the coffee machine...
Smash of a party... Thank you Costco for your great party food (your avocado dip is outstanding) and for treating your employees well. Thank you Great Aunt Tauty for teaching me to have a great time at my own party. You were right. You said 1) Tell everyone you are a lousy cook. 2) Marry someone who can cook and/or have enough money to afford caterers. 3) Tell your guests good naturedly that they will go hungry and thirsty if they do not fend for themselves (even our British guests seemed to rally to the concept) 4) Pour yourself a big glass of wine and enjoy.
And speaking of treating employees well... (Costco)... A few glasses of wine later, I did make a request to the CEO of hubby's company to please make sure hubby's next pay raise at least give us the delta that would allow me to quit this ridiculous State House job I have. The flexibility of work hours simply does not make up for the mediocrity and corruption one must acquiesce to and which makes it harder and harder to look oneself in the mirror.
In the meantime... the House and Senate approved a perfectly cowardly energy bill -- one that not only does not reduce the United State's dependence of foreign oil but will also serve to make the oil companies EVEN RICHER via undeserved tax breaks and at the expense of our public lands. Meanwhile the Harper's Index says that the number of new U.S. soldiers the Army would need in 2006 to replenish ranks abroad is 80,000. The percentage of this goas it expects to meet is 9.9. The number of Iraqi troops that have been "trained and equipped," according to Bush in April is 150,000. However the number that the U.S. military considers ready to deploy independently is 1,500.
And finally the silly. Also is Harper's: Number of Pepsi products plainly visible in a May TV ad for Arnold Schwarzenegger: 5. And the selling price in June for a bar of soap allegedly made from the liposuctioned fat of Silvio Berlusconi: $18,000. Oh boy....
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