Monday, June 07, 2004
At the risk of sounding like a very un-altruistic lefty liberal, I am seeking the death penalty for Fritz. That is if Fritz hasn't already suffered an excruciating death-by-chocolate over the weekend. If not, he might as well wish he were dead because no intestine-wrenching overdose of chocolate will compare to what Anna Bloviation's has in store for this thief.
For there is simply not anything more disappointing than to have looked forward to two Lindt truffles following lunch only to discover petite-and-tiny mouse turdettes surrounding the Lindt chocolate bag you stupidly left underneath your desk before leaving work early on a sunny Friday afternoon last week. Damn-it. And I thought Fritz was my friend. The little bastard....
Not only this, but the generously filled bag of creamy chocolate truffles was a gift from a very special friend who works here at the State House with me. She herself has been busy with the Senate budget, finals, a Goliath social calendar, and the distractions and excitement of expecting with child (a child I've already nick-named Long Lash in anticipation of the genetic likelihood that this kid will have world-record sweepers). Yet, my friend still found the time to buy me chocolate knowing I was stressed about all the house stuff going on.
The fact that the soles of my shoes can't help but step on the mouse mess around my work station as I write this really isn’t helping…. Nor is it helping the newspaper article in front of me about how the Vatican will be paying Cardinal Bernard Law, former disgraced Boston Archbishop, a $5,000-a-month stipend for a cozy position in Rome after having failed to protect thousands of Catholic children from pedophile priests. The same church that is as we speak failing thousands of parishioners across the Commonwealth by closing sixty-five churches in order to raise money for the lawsuits which have arisen from church abuse. The same church that just spent millions of dollars in a full-fledged marketing campaign against gay marriage.
Given that there is purportedly indeed a Hell,I hope to have a nice toasty balcony looking out to not only Little Fritz, but also to every last dispicable boy-diddling Catholic priest roasting on his spit below.
For there is simply not anything more disappointing than to have looked forward to two Lindt truffles following lunch only to discover petite-and-tiny mouse turdettes surrounding the Lindt chocolate bag you stupidly left underneath your desk before leaving work early on a sunny Friday afternoon last week. Damn-it. And I thought Fritz was my friend. The little bastard....
Not only this, but the generously filled bag of creamy chocolate truffles was a gift from a very special friend who works here at the State House with me. She herself has been busy with the Senate budget, finals, a Goliath social calendar, and the distractions and excitement of expecting with child (a child I've already nick-named Long Lash in anticipation of the genetic likelihood that this kid will have world-record sweepers). Yet, my friend still found the time to buy me chocolate knowing I was stressed about all the house stuff going on.
The fact that the soles of my shoes can't help but step on the mouse mess around my work station as I write this really isn’t helping…. Nor is it helping the newspaper article in front of me about how the Vatican will be paying Cardinal Bernard Law, former disgraced Boston Archbishop, a $5,000-a-month stipend for a cozy position in Rome after having failed to protect thousands of Catholic children from pedophile priests. The same church that is as we speak failing thousands of parishioners across the Commonwealth by closing sixty-five churches in order to raise money for the lawsuits which have arisen from church abuse. The same church that just spent millions of dollars in a full-fledged marketing campaign against gay marriage.
Given that there is purportedly indeed a Hell,I hope to have a nice toasty balcony looking out to not only Little Fritz, but also to every last dispicable boy-diddling Catholic priest roasting on his spit below.
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