Thursday, May 06, 2004
More M & M's to Consider. This time it's not Mistress Matisse in yesterday's blog, but the Methodist Church distributing flyers to legislative offices admonishing ministers who practice mutual masturbation. Swear to god. Here's the text:
The A.P. had it wrong yesterday when it reported that the United Methodist Church is debating whether to remove a lesbian minister, who is 'in a relationship with a woman.' They should have written that the minister is 'practicing mutual masturbation with another woman'..... the church [should] stop using wonderful-sounding phrases like 'gay' or even 'homosexual,' and start saying that these people are not 'gay' or 'happy' or 'jolly' in any way. The only thing that distinguishes them from normal women is their desire to practice mutual masturbation with others of the same sex. Is that conduct something we should extol to the world?"
Now there's a good-and-cogent reason to remove a minister. Dump her for what we think she might be doing in the privacy of her own bedroom with another consenting adult. Funny. If we're talking about what we want to be extolling to the world, I don't remember getting any flyers-of-outrage from the Methodist Church when we learned what boy-diddling Catholic priests had been up to over the last few decades...
In the interest of keeping up the M-Momentum today, I think I'll go up to the cafeteria and get some M&M chocolates. I'm starving.
The A.P. had it wrong yesterday when it reported that the United Methodist Church is debating whether to remove a lesbian minister, who is 'in a relationship with a woman.' They should have written that the minister is 'practicing mutual masturbation with another woman'..... the church [should] stop using wonderful-sounding phrases like 'gay' or even 'homosexual,' and start saying that these people are not 'gay' or 'happy' or 'jolly' in any way. The only thing that distinguishes them from normal women is their desire to practice mutual masturbation with others of the same sex. Is that conduct something we should extol to the world?"
Now there's a good-and-cogent reason to remove a minister. Dump her for what we think she might be doing in the privacy of her own bedroom with another consenting adult. Funny. If we're talking about what we want to be extolling to the world, I don't remember getting any flyers-of-outrage from the Methodist Church when we learned what boy-diddling Catholic priests had been up to over the last few decades...
In the interest of keeping up the M-Momentum today, I think I'll go up to the cafeteria and get some M&M chocolates. I'm starving.
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