Sunday, March 21, 2004
With no disrespect to the son's abilities (...), I always wonder if he would have been accepted to a Washington D.C.-based college were it not for 9/11. How many prospective students nixed the idea of applying to Washington D.C. colleges based on the proximity to the horrid events of September 11th? Or to NYU? This year I can't help but ponder if prospective applicants from Massachusetts will be affected by the MA Supreme Judicial Court ruling on gay marriage. This may seem far fetched but as I have mentioned in previous blogs, constituents calling the State House against gay marriage tend to be adamantly and vociferously against it. I can only imagine what people towards the Midwest and Bible-belt think about the whole thing. So say you were an admission's director born and raised in a conservative state. If you came across an applicant from Massachusetts would it be possible that at least on a sub-conscious level you would want to try and keep a pinko-liberal-probably-pro-gay marriage student the hell out of your state? "Dear Student from Massachusetts. Thank you for your application. We regret to inform you that at this time we do not...." Just a thought. We'll see once we start hearing back from all of the colleges over the next few weeks if there is any pattern...
V.J. V.J. V.J. Is a man to flustrate the hell out of a forty-something woman. I'm not into personal trainers but my gym was having a special. "This Month Only. Take it to the Next Level. Get a One Hour Consultation with your own Personal Trainer for $25." OK V.J. Take me to the next level... V.J. is from the Philippines. Ebony black eyes. Silky black spiked hair. Gorgeous mahogany skin. A body that doesn't quit. "Anna, I've been watching your workout routine. Your body is in cheat mode. Let's go from good to amazing." OK, never tell a forty-something woman that you have been WATCHING them work out. All kinds of really scary and embarrassing scenarios come to mind. "A body's job is to conserve energy. It will let you keep in shape but ideally it doesn't want to push to the next level because frankly it could care less if you have a little love handle around the middle. It just wants to stay true to its hitherto evolutionary calling to have a couple of months' worth of fat in the event of lean times." The jist of his lecture seemed to be that the body conditions itself to a workout and much like Pavlov's dog, knows exactly what to expect after a while. A thirty minute routine becomes all about the path of least resistance. V.J. lay down sideways next to me on the mat, propped his head up on his hand, and talked me through the perfect stomach crunch. Occasionally he would gently touch a part of my body to emphasize a point. The twenty-five dollars had already paid themselves as far as I was concerned. Good god this was going to provide me with weeks of fantasy fodder. Next, V.J. set me up with a new cardio-vascular routine: X-trainer, rowing, bicycle, stairs. He was right about my body having been in cheat mode. I soon heard little voices trying to drown out my iPod music, "Ummmm. Excuse me. Anna? Excuse me but we seem to be doing something a little different aren't we? "
Cereal Box a la Tom Ridge. You know things are getting bad when the back of your cereal box reads like text from a Homeland Security memo. How about this at 7 a.m. in the morning?:
EATING LEAN IN A LAND OF PLENTY. First, let's have some plain talk about weight management. To begin with, we're losing the war on fat. The U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that from 1991 to 2000, the percentage of overweight adult Americans has increased 61%. Lean people are actually a minority today. Second, there is no mystery to fat. If you're packing a few pounds too many it's because your caloric intake exceeds your caloric needs. Third, is it any wonder? Food is everywhere. Gas stations are now food stores. You can buy a bag of cookies in any drugstore. And when did a visit to a zoo or a ballpark become an occasion for a meal? Fourth, you are not helpless.
V.J. V.J. V.J. Is a man to flustrate the hell out of a forty-something woman. I'm not into personal trainers but my gym was having a special. "This Month Only. Take it to the Next Level. Get a One Hour Consultation with your own Personal Trainer for $25." OK V.J. Take me to the next level... V.J. is from the Philippines. Ebony black eyes. Silky black spiked hair. Gorgeous mahogany skin. A body that doesn't quit. "Anna, I've been watching your workout routine. Your body is in cheat mode. Let's go from good to amazing." OK, never tell a forty-something woman that you have been WATCHING them work out. All kinds of really scary and embarrassing scenarios come to mind. "A body's job is to conserve energy. It will let you keep in shape but ideally it doesn't want to push to the next level because frankly it could care less if you have a little love handle around the middle. It just wants to stay true to its hitherto evolutionary calling to have a couple of months' worth of fat in the event of lean times." The jist of his lecture seemed to be that the body conditions itself to a workout and much like Pavlov's dog, knows exactly what to expect after a while. A thirty minute routine becomes all about the path of least resistance. V.J. lay down sideways next to me on the mat, propped his head up on his hand, and talked me through the perfect stomach crunch. Occasionally he would gently touch a part of my body to emphasize a point. The twenty-five dollars had already paid themselves as far as I was concerned. Good god this was going to provide me with weeks of fantasy fodder. Next, V.J. set me up with a new cardio-vascular routine: X-trainer, rowing, bicycle, stairs. He was right about my body having been in cheat mode. I soon heard little voices trying to drown out my iPod music, "Ummmm. Excuse me. Anna? Excuse me but we seem to be doing something a little different aren't we? "
Cereal Box a la Tom Ridge. You know things are getting bad when the back of your cereal box reads like text from a Homeland Security memo. How about this at 7 a.m. in the morning?:
EATING LEAN IN A LAND OF PLENTY. First, let's have some plain talk about weight management. To begin with, we're losing the war on fat. The U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that from 1991 to 2000, the percentage of overweight adult Americans has increased 61%. Lean people are actually a minority today. Second, there is no mystery to fat. If you're packing a few pounds too many it's because your caloric intake exceeds your caloric needs. Third, is it any wonder? Food is everywhere. Gas stations are now food stores. You can buy a bag of cookies in any drugstore. And when did a visit to a zoo or a ballpark become an occasion for a meal? Fourth, you are not helpless.
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