Monday, March 01, 2004
A while back I talked about Goliath Caskets, a company that makes caskets designed specifically to accomodate the ever growing ranks of over-sized corpses. Suffice to say that sales continue to be brisk for Forrest Davis, founder of the business. Bereaved families may choose from two super-size models (Homstead Style or Harvest Style) where into Uncle Ernie's demised corpulence can spread in peace and comfort. No easy task when you consider that the funeral home must first figure out how to remove the 500-plus lbs. of body from whence it transpired and get it into said satin-lined box. Says Davis, "All I can say here is to ‘be creative’. I had one funeral home tell me that they enlisted the aid of the local fire department. On another occasion, the funeral home used a small front end loader tractor to lift the body. I heard of one situation where the funeral home used an "A frame" engine lift to move the body. The best thing to do is have a plan in mind before you arrive at the hospital. Good luck."
When the Sierra Club called to remind me to renew my membership I admit I had an earnest conversation with the guy on the other end of the phone about this situation. I asked him whether they shouldn't be very concerned that land was being eaten up at twice the rate (an over-sized casket is twice the width of a conventional one). Plus what about all that extra embalming fluid seeping into the soil? Yuk.
But then along came "Augie" Perna, founder of Surgical Body Forms to 'entrepreneurship' the problem away for me. You see Augie is in the business of selling body parts to university researchers, surgical equipment companies, pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, and the like. Augie's forte happens to be torsos for which he can fetch about $1,500 a piece. Based in Pennsylvania, he ships deep-freeze torsos via Fed-Ex to medical seminars throughout the country. Convention rooms at swank hotels are transformed into operating centers where surgeons gather round their respective torsos to practice state-of-the-art surgical techniques from hand-assisted laparoscopic nephrectomy to stomach stapling before they're off for a round of golf in the afternoon.
After a family donates a loved one to science, a good technician 'can strip a human body in a little less than an hour. Like stolen cars and personal computers, cadavers are worth more in pieces than they are intact: a full body costs anywhere from $1,000 to $4,000. Heads go for $550. Brains, $500. Shoulders, $431. Spines $1,500. Knees, $500. Tibias, $400. Femurs, $467.30. Whole legs, $815. Feet, $350. Forearms, $350. Five grams of skin, $803.57. Vaginas (with clitoris), $350. Breasts, $375. Fingernails, $15.'
I admit this all sounds a bit macrabre but I do like the efficacy aspect of this approach to handling corpses. The Swedes have come up with a good idea too. Their method involves freeze-drying the corpse in liquid nitrogen rather than using conventional embalming fluid. Sound vibrations then shatter the brittle remains into a powder that can be "returned to the ecological cycle". Ashes to ashes and dust to dust...
When the Sierra Club called to remind me to renew my membership I admit I had an earnest conversation with the guy on the other end of the phone about this situation. I asked him whether they shouldn't be very concerned that land was being eaten up at twice the rate (an over-sized casket is twice the width of a conventional one). Plus what about all that extra embalming fluid seeping into the soil? Yuk.
But then along came "Augie" Perna, founder of Surgical Body Forms to 'entrepreneurship' the problem away for me. You see Augie is in the business of selling body parts to university researchers, surgical equipment companies, pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, and the like. Augie's forte happens to be torsos for which he can fetch about $1,500 a piece. Based in Pennsylvania, he ships deep-freeze torsos via Fed-Ex to medical seminars throughout the country. Convention rooms at swank hotels are transformed into operating centers where surgeons gather round their respective torsos to practice state-of-the-art surgical techniques from hand-assisted laparoscopic nephrectomy to stomach stapling before they're off for a round of golf in the afternoon.
After a family donates a loved one to science, a good technician 'can strip a human body in a little less than an hour. Like stolen cars and personal computers, cadavers are worth more in pieces than they are intact: a full body costs anywhere from $1,000 to $4,000. Heads go for $550. Brains, $500. Shoulders, $431. Spines $1,500. Knees, $500. Tibias, $400. Femurs, $467.30. Whole legs, $815. Feet, $350. Forearms, $350. Five grams of skin, $803.57. Vaginas (with clitoris), $350. Breasts, $375. Fingernails, $15.'
I admit this all sounds a bit macrabre but I do like the efficacy aspect of this approach to handling corpses. The Swedes have come up with a good idea too. Their method involves freeze-drying the corpse in liquid nitrogen rather than using conventional embalming fluid. Sound vibrations then shatter the brittle remains into a powder that can be "returned to the ecological cycle". Ashes to ashes and dust to dust...
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