Tuesday, March 23, 2004
So about that blurb on the back of the cereal box -- the one I read this morning again whilst eating my organic flakes. -- the one which sounds like an orange alert from a Homeland Security memo:
EATING LEAN IN A LAND OF PLENTY. First, let's have some plain talk about weight management. To begin with, WE'RE LOSING THE WAR ON FAT. The U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that from 1991 to 2000, the percentage of overweight adult Americans has increased 61%. Lean people are actually a minority today. Second, there is no mystery to fat. If you're packing a few pounds too many it's because your caloric intake exceeds your caloric needs. Third, is it any wonder? Food is everywhere. Gas stations are now food stores. You can buy a bag of cookies in any drugstore. And when did a visit to a zoo or a ballpark become an occasion for a meal? Fourth, you are not helpless.
I didn't know we were at war with fat so I did a little cursory research on the matter. Sure enough President Bush declared a War on Fat in early 2002. I guess this means that in addition to our war on terrorism, we must also be wary of the FOOD that lies in wait to ambush us at every corner. "Sorry honey. Can't pick up your anti-biotic prescription. We're on high alert from salted peanuts skulking around in aisle fourteen."
There's nothing like fretting about potential acts of aggression by food before one has even had a morning shower.... All I can say is that if Bush declares chocolate as part of the axis of evil I'm moving to Canada. Or maybe Massachusetts and Vermont could just secede and become a part of Canada. Wouldn't be quite so cold that way.
EATING LEAN IN A LAND OF PLENTY. First, let's have some plain talk about weight management. To begin with, WE'RE LOSING THE WAR ON FAT. The U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that from 1991 to 2000, the percentage of overweight adult Americans has increased 61%. Lean people are actually a minority today. Second, there is no mystery to fat. If you're packing a few pounds too many it's because your caloric intake exceeds your caloric needs. Third, is it any wonder? Food is everywhere. Gas stations are now food stores. You can buy a bag of cookies in any drugstore. And when did a visit to a zoo or a ballpark become an occasion for a meal? Fourth, you are not helpless.
I didn't know we were at war with fat so I did a little cursory research on the matter. Sure enough President Bush declared a War on Fat in early 2002. I guess this means that in addition to our war on terrorism, we must also be wary of the FOOD that lies in wait to ambush us at every corner. "Sorry honey. Can't pick up your anti-biotic prescription. We're on high alert from salted peanuts skulking around in aisle fourteen."
There's nothing like fretting about potential acts of aggression by food before one has even had a morning shower.... All I can say is that if Bush declares chocolate as part of the axis of evil I'm moving to Canada. Or maybe Massachusetts and Vermont could just secede and become a part of Canada. Wouldn't be quite so cold that way.
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