Friday, March 05, 2004
Kudos to Magistrate Judge Jacob P. Hart of the federal district court in Philadelphia. In a humorous interview on NPR's All Things Considered, he conveys how appalled he is by the number of attorneys who submit sloppy, typo-riddled briefs. In one recent case, the attorney's brief was so bad that Hart cut in half the attorney fees awarded to the plaintiff. Said Hart, the brief in question was "careless to the point of being disrespectful."
Unfortunately for Magistrate Hart, there are Lemmings-numbers' worth of REALLY BAD WRITERS coming up through the hallowed halls of $40K-per-year college institutions. Take for instance one of our last year's summer interns -- a voluptuous, ditzy Greek goddess named Zina who I-kid-you-not bears a striking Greek-version-resemblance to Monica Lewinsky. And no, this forty-something liberal isn't being catty because she's jealous of Zina's youth. Heh, we had another drop-dead gorgeous intern whom I would recommend in a heart beat. OK, OK so he was a guy.
But I have to hand it to voluptuous Zina. She may not be able to find her way out of a paper bag but her audacious self-confidence will no doubt more than make up for her intellectual short-comings. Zina emailed us that she wants to do a summer internship with none other than Senator Kennedy or Congressman Tierney. She also added Senators Sarbanes or Mikulski to her list only because I think she figures these two must be Greek (Sarbanes is but Mikulski is Polish...). Needless to say, her attached 'resume' was riddled with typos, fragment sentences, alignment issues, and the misspelling of my Rep's name from whom she wants a recommendation!
In a merit-based institution, I would have politely told dear Zina, "sorry-no-chance." But this is where the NEPOSTISM-FACTOR comes in. Zina is the daughter of a good friend of the Rep's family, blah-blah-blah. So a letter we must write. But what to impart without one of these Senators or the Congressman calling us back up to say "What the hell did I ever do to you to deserve this??" Well actually Kennedy might call and say, "Wow, thanks Rep! What did I do to deserve this?"
Here's the most generic wording I could come up with for said letter:
Dear Senator XXX,
I am writing to you on behalf of Ms. Zina XXX, of XXX, Massachusetts, who has informed me that she has applied to be an intern in your office for the summer of 2004.
Ms. XXX volunteered as an intern for one week in my office at the State House last summer. Her duties included a number of clerical tasks such as filing and database entry.
Ms. XXX is currently a student at XXX College, where she is studying international relations. She is a member of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. At her previous school, XXX College, she was the Vice President of the Middle Eastern Club, as well as a member of the Greek Club and African American Club. I would also note that she was also a member of the XXX College women's rugby team.
Please feel free to contact me at your convenience if you have any questions about Ms. XXX. Thank you in advance for your consideration of Ms. XXX's candidacy.
Unfortunately for Magistrate Hart, there are Lemmings-numbers' worth of REALLY BAD WRITERS coming up through the hallowed halls of $40K-per-year college institutions. Take for instance one of our last year's summer interns -- a voluptuous, ditzy Greek goddess named Zina who I-kid-you-not bears a striking Greek-version-resemblance to Monica Lewinsky. And no, this forty-something liberal isn't being catty because she's jealous of Zina's youth. Heh, we had another drop-dead gorgeous intern whom I would recommend in a heart beat. OK, OK so he was a guy.
But I have to hand it to voluptuous Zina. She may not be able to find her way out of a paper bag but her audacious self-confidence will no doubt more than make up for her intellectual short-comings. Zina emailed us that she wants to do a summer internship with none other than Senator Kennedy or Congressman Tierney. She also added Senators Sarbanes or Mikulski to her list only because I think she figures these two must be Greek (Sarbanes is but Mikulski is Polish...). Needless to say, her attached 'resume' was riddled with typos, fragment sentences, alignment issues, and the misspelling of my Rep's name from whom she wants a recommendation!
In a merit-based institution, I would have politely told dear Zina, "sorry-no-chance." But this is where the NEPOSTISM-FACTOR comes in. Zina is the daughter of a good friend of the Rep's family, blah-blah-blah. So a letter we must write. But what to impart without one of these Senators or the Congressman calling us back up to say "What the hell did I ever do to you to deserve this??" Well actually Kennedy might call and say, "Wow, thanks Rep! What did I do to deserve this?"
Here's the most generic wording I could come up with for said letter:
Dear Senator XXX,
I am writing to you on behalf of Ms. Zina XXX, of XXX, Massachusetts, who has informed me that she has applied to be an intern in your office for the summer of 2004.
Ms. XXX volunteered as an intern for one week in my office at the State House last summer. Her duties included a number of clerical tasks such as filing and database entry.
Ms. XXX is currently a student at XXX College, where she is studying international relations. She is a member of the National Society of Collegiate Scholars. At her previous school, XXX College, she was the Vice President of the Middle Eastern Club, as well as a member of the Greek Club and African American Club. I would also note that she was also a member of the XXX College women's rugby team.
Please feel free to contact me at your convenience if you have any questions about Ms. XXX. Thank you in advance for your consideration of Ms. XXX's candidacy.
Comments:
Post a Comment
