Thursday, November 06, 2003
“You know you love it. You want us on that wall; you need us on that wall . . .”
No, Anna hasn’t been spending her evenings in kinky cyber chat rooms. Anna spent an evening in the cyber trenches fulfilling her above-mentioned mission statement to save the world’s inhabitants!
I could give you the whole email trail but god it’s all so complex. Suffice to say it’s been a bloody battle made all the more tricky because these two that I am trying to BRING TO THE LIGHT are not only conservatives but lawyers as well. But I think I’ve made a tiny bit of headway. To the transplanted Californian not at all perturbed by the fact that the Terminator is Governor of California (to his credit he didn’t vote for him, opting instead for one of the other 135 candidates...):
Dear Mr. X,
"I hate to break this to you, but the Terminator doesn't really exist.... He is a fictitious character projected up onto a big cinematic screen. The qualities and powers everyone thinks he possesses were created by a highly-paid Hollywood screenplay writer. He really CAN'T put out fires with his bare hands..."
Regards,
Anna Bloviations
This a very small in-road I’ll admit but a little headway nonetheless. I still have a lot of work ahead regarding French-bashing, Bush, Iraq, and Clinton’s impeachment. But I did seem to get enough under their electronic skin to elicit this comment:
Dear Anna,
"Snide, well thought out smart-assed comments by you still doesn’t change the fact that the Democratic Party ruined this once great state."
To which I replied:
Dear Mr. X,
"Yes, but they [my snide, well-thought-out smart-assed comments] are good practice for when the Democrats finally realize that I am the one to take on Bill O'Reilly! Bring him on... I'll rip his girlie god-damned head off and kill Fox News’s ratings while I'm at it. I bet O'Reilly is a closet pedophile. Rush was always talking about drugs. O'Reilly is always talking about kids. In fact I think I'm going to leak this to some news organization under Bush’s ‘negative proof’ concept. "So Mr. O'Reilly. I think you're a pervert hiding pictures of little kiddies in your house. Prove to me that you DON’T have those photos....Otherwise it’s ‘Smash and Mash.' It’s for your own good..."
By now two hours have gone by and these two conservatives have legal-esed me into complete exhaustion. My liberal friend, whom I have to thank for introducing these two characters, has been of little to no help on the front lines all evening:
Dear Liberal Friend,
"You have put me in the company of two people I don't even know but who have managed to drive me to drinking. Conservatives AND lawyers...What did I do to deserve this? My dog isn't too happy about this either. She looks like she is going to split her bladder. YOU OWE ME A LUNCH!!!"
And did I hear back from friend? No... That’s when I got:
“You know you love it. You want us on that wall; you need us on that wall . . .”
"Yes," I reply. "As a poster of an extinct species…."
No, Anna hasn’t been spending her evenings in kinky cyber chat rooms. Anna spent an evening in the cyber trenches fulfilling her above-mentioned mission statement to save the world’s inhabitants!
I could give you the whole email trail but god it’s all so complex. Suffice to say it’s been a bloody battle made all the more tricky because these two that I am trying to BRING TO THE LIGHT are not only conservatives but lawyers as well. But I think I’ve made a tiny bit of headway. To the transplanted Californian not at all perturbed by the fact that the Terminator is Governor of California (to his credit he didn’t vote for him, opting instead for one of the other 135 candidates...):
Dear Mr. X,
"I hate to break this to you, but the Terminator doesn't really exist.... He is a fictitious character projected up onto a big cinematic screen. The qualities and powers everyone thinks he possesses were created by a highly-paid Hollywood screenplay writer. He really CAN'T put out fires with his bare hands..."
Regards,
Anna Bloviations
This a very small in-road I’ll admit but a little headway nonetheless. I still have a lot of work ahead regarding French-bashing, Bush, Iraq, and Clinton’s impeachment. But I did seem to get enough under their electronic skin to elicit this comment:
Dear Anna,
"Snide, well thought out smart-assed comments by you still doesn’t change the fact that the Democratic Party ruined this once great state."
To which I replied:
Dear Mr. X,
"Yes, but they [my snide, well-thought-out smart-assed comments] are good practice for when the Democrats finally realize that I am the one to take on Bill O'Reilly! Bring him on... I'll rip his girlie god-damned head off and kill Fox News’s ratings while I'm at it. I bet O'Reilly is a closet pedophile. Rush was always talking about drugs. O'Reilly is always talking about kids. In fact I think I'm going to leak this to some news organization under Bush’s ‘negative proof’ concept. "So Mr. O'Reilly. I think you're a pervert hiding pictures of little kiddies in your house. Prove to me that you DON’T have those photos....Otherwise it’s ‘Smash and Mash.' It’s for your own good..."
By now two hours have gone by and these two conservatives have legal-esed me into complete exhaustion. My liberal friend, whom I have to thank for introducing these two characters, has been of little to no help on the front lines all evening:
Dear Liberal Friend,
"You have put me in the company of two people I don't even know but who have managed to drive me to drinking. Conservatives AND lawyers...What did I do to deserve this? My dog isn't too happy about this either. She looks like she is going to split her bladder. YOU OWE ME A LUNCH!!!"
And did I hear back from friend? No... That’s when I got:
“You know you love it. You want us on that wall; you need us on that wall . . .”
"Yes," I reply. "As a poster of an extinct species…."
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