Friday, October 03, 2003
THE ARNOLD CIRCUS HAS INFILTRATED MASSACHUSETTS -- I am starting to think that perhaps unbeknownst to me I was abducted by aliens with a cruel sense of humor and that said aliens have dropped me onto another planet very similar-looking to Earth save for the fact that its inhabitants are hell bent on seeing me in a straight jacket pounding my head against a wall... Or maybe, unbeknownst to me, I am like Jim Carey in the Truman Show -- a hapless in-the-dark stooge caught up in a work of theater I think is the world. Maybe the show is called Do Dumb Things in the World and Watch Anna Go Insane. OK Television Audience, we know that she was just dissin' her home state of California being so far gone that it looks like the Terminator has a serious shot at the Governor's office. Let's see what she does if we print in the newspaper that her surrogate state Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts is set to endorse Arnold Schwarzenegger for Governor of California. And while we're at it, let's have a canary yellow Hummer pull up next to her at the subway station parking lot this morning and have a twenty-something guy get out whom she recognizes from the town she lives in and which begs the question as to why he needs such a colossal-afront-to-the-planet to drive 12 miles on a perfectly-paved flat road.
THE TELEMARKETER CALLS ARE FOR YOU SUCKER, NOT ME Pretty funny that 11 of the top executives who are challenging the federal registry in court have themselves listed their telephone numbers on the Do-Not-Call-List.
AN OBESE DOG VS. A NON-OBESE DOG A big upside to the B & B where I am staying this week is that my friend invited our dog to stay as well. Heidi is a ten-year-old Australian Shepard -- a very sharp Shepard in the sharp Shepard department. She is well exercised and eats a healthy dog-appropriate diet. The only annoying incurable trait that she exhibits is the high-pitched-ear-piercing yap that she feels compelled to let the neighborhood hear each and every time we head out the door for a walk. This lasts for about one minute and then she stops. Basically the more exercise you give her the more she wants i.e. you cannot get the dog tired; she just gets in better and better shape. So in some respects she is high maintenance.
Having tasted the freedom of the romp outdoors, having played with a tennis ball or Frisbee regularly, having been trained to understand the boundaries of a world filled with cars, squirrels, and small children, she knows the difference between a good day and a day where her masters are too tired or busy to let her be an active member of the world we introduced her to. And boy does she let her disappointment be known if we don't live up to our contract with her. ENTER OBESE SADE Sade is my friend's two-year-old flat-coated retriever tub who is keeping my dog company at the B & B. Sweet as a pea, complacent, and relaxed, she carries around her leash in her mouth not knowing its purpose. Her expectations are few; her leash her pacifier. Is she unhappy? No I don't think so. She is surrounded by a loving family. The fireplace is warm and she is content to lie in front of it. The food plentiful. The cats her friends. THE PARALLEL -- I will leave it to you to draw parallels to our lethargic, water-bottle-sucking, stuffed-with-over-sized-portions-of-food nation and my dog story....
THE TELEMARKETER CALLS ARE FOR YOU SUCKER, NOT ME Pretty funny that 11 of the top executives who are challenging the federal registry in court have themselves listed their telephone numbers on the Do-Not-Call-List.
AN OBESE DOG VS. A NON-OBESE DOG A big upside to the B & B where I am staying this week is that my friend invited our dog to stay as well. Heidi is a ten-year-old Australian Shepard -- a very sharp Shepard in the sharp Shepard department. She is well exercised and eats a healthy dog-appropriate diet. The only annoying incurable trait that she exhibits is the high-pitched-ear-piercing yap that she feels compelled to let the neighborhood hear each and every time we head out the door for a walk. This lasts for about one minute and then she stops. Basically the more exercise you give her the more she wants i.e. you cannot get the dog tired; she just gets in better and better shape. So in some respects she is high maintenance.
Having tasted the freedom of the romp outdoors, having played with a tennis ball or Frisbee regularly, having been trained to understand the boundaries of a world filled with cars, squirrels, and small children, she knows the difference between a good day and a day where her masters are too tired or busy to let her be an active member of the world we introduced her to. And boy does she let her disappointment be known if we don't live up to our contract with her. ENTER OBESE SADE Sade is my friend's two-year-old flat-coated retriever tub who is keeping my dog company at the B & B. Sweet as a pea, complacent, and relaxed, she carries around her leash in her mouth not knowing its purpose. Her expectations are few; her leash her pacifier. Is she unhappy? No I don't think so. She is surrounded by a loving family. The fireplace is warm and she is content to lie in front of it. The food plentiful. The cats her friends. THE PARALLEL -- I will leave it to you to draw parallels to our lethargic, water-bottle-sucking, stuffed-with-over-sized-portions-of-food nation and my dog story....
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