Wednesday, September 03, 2003
REPENTANCE FOR ANNA! for she has committed unspeakable acts (at least from the standpoint of a liberal environmentalist). It stemmed from the shock of my boss being back after a month-long sojourn in Europe. He was giving me a deadline which meant that I was going to miss the John Kerry presidential announcement kick-off and couldn't leave at my accustomed time of 4:20 p.m. Not that I am particularly partial to Kerry. But now that my new government job affords me V.I.P tickets to see said candidate up-close and personal tell me why he can beat Dean, I thought I would go check it out. Instead I found myself in a mail-merge-morass. I hate mail merge projects. They make you REALLY hate Bill Gates. On the other hand one has to commiserate with the unfortunate souls who used to have to type individual letters to X-hundred recipients with no Delete, Spell-Check, or Un-Do functions.
So back to the 'unspeakable' act: I let 600 pages print out before I realized that the greeting line was unsalvageably fucked up. Turns out I am a very good slinker... I slinked to the nearest recycling bin down the hall and buried the incriminating evidence two layers under. Then I slinked back to the office, fixed the error, bullshited a nice little story as to why things were taking so long, and Voila!; the perfect legislative aide presents boss with 800 perfect letters he wants sent out to prospective attendees to a charity event (do the math folks: it ain't pretty).
COLOR COORDINATED TO MATCH THE GIFT -- I am the only person I know who could manage to color coordinate herself with the gift she was giving someone for 30th birthday.... DAY 1: buy vase from Crate & Barrel (see Sept. 1 blog), DAY 2: buy pink gift bag and black tissue paper; store said items at office to have ready to wrap present still at home next day, DAY 3: Get dressed for work and remember to bring along present to work; get to work and wrap present; take present to recipient's office on other side of building; notice while I am walking to her office that what I am wearing is perfectly color-coordinated with present i.e. pink button-down blouse is perfectly matched to pink gift bag, matching pink sweater is perfectly matched to gift bag, and striking black sandals are perfectly matched to black tissue paper aesthetically peeping out of pink gift bag.
Ah the sub-conscious mind at work...OR, too many years spent in Europe....
So back to the 'unspeakable' act: I let 600 pages print out before I realized that the greeting line was unsalvageably fucked up. Turns out I am a very good slinker... I slinked to the nearest recycling bin down the hall and buried the incriminating evidence two layers under. Then I slinked back to the office, fixed the error, bullshited a nice little story as to why things were taking so long, and Voila!; the perfect legislative aide presents boss with 800 perfect letters he wants sent out to prospective attendees to a charity event (do the math folks: it ain't pretty).
COLOR COORDINATED TO MATCH THE GIFT -- I am the only person I know who could manage to color coordinate herself with the gift she was giving someone for 30th birthday.... DAY 1: buy vase from Crate & Barrel (see Sept. 1 blog), DAY 2: buy pink gift bag and black tissue paper; store said items at office to have ready to wrap present still at home next day, DAY 3: Get dressed for work and remember to bring along present to work; get to work and wrap present; take present to recipient's office on other side of building; notice while I am walking to her office that what I am wearing is perfectly color-coordinated with present i.e. pink button-down blouse is perfectly matched to pink gift bag, matching pink sweater is perfectly matched to gift bag, and striking black sandals are perfectly matched to black tissue paper aesthetically peeping out of pink gift bag.
Ah the sub-conscious mind at work...OR, too many years spent in Europe....
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