Anna's Bloviations

I think I may have found a potential comrade in arms. Turns out my neighbor of fourteen years hates SUV's as vociferously as I do and lately has been quite vocal about it. To the owner of an enormous red Lincoln Navigator who left his guzzler idling for more than ten minutes in the parking lot while he talked on his cell phone, my five-foot-three friend went up to him and asked if he was ever going to turn off his damn engine as he was polluting the environment. Geez, the guy gets barely ten m.p.g and then burns what little he has left in his tank idling in a parking lot? What flagrant utter disrespect to this planet -- all in the name of what he would probably call exercising his personal freedom. And everywhere you look, there are more fat pricks on cell phones doing the same thing.

If my friend and I ever decided to go to the eco-terrorist-extreme to get our point across, we would be a perfect duo. Absolutely nobody would ever suspect us. My friend is pretty and petite -- both her house and her wardrobe Martha-Stewart perfect. I'm not very suspicious looking either. And because we've both been 'super moms' for so long, we would be great at coordinating all of the logistics of our eco-terrorist activities. Like fine-tuned Swiss watches, we would know right down to the nano-second when to detonate the TNT on the Hummer lot. Our combined experience in housecleaning over the last twenty-plus years would ensure that our tracks were traceless; I guarantee you wouldn't be able to find a fingerprint anywhere. And our both gym-buffed physiques would be perfect for scaling those SUV dealership fences!

I wonder if Prada makes a nice black ski mask. And I should check out the Coach website to see if they have a nifty midnight-black leather backpack we could haul our firebombs around in... I also wonder if I type in Tom Ridge, firebombs, eco-terrorism, and E.L.F. , I'll get a knock on my door tonight.