<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Monday, August 25, 2003

My agnostic leanings for the week tilt now toward reincarnation. I had been favoring mythology until Zeus recently saw fit to punish me with a blast of supercilious god-like wrath. Apparently displeased by my paltry sacrificial offerings of weekly recyclables (not enough wine bottles?), Zeus heaped upon me a load of jobs no mortal should have to try to fulfill in the course of two days: airport limo driver, nurse, travel agent, veterinarian, de facto State Legislator, personal executive administrator, document editor, house cleaner, auto adjuster, college coordinator, and my most difficult role: full-time cook... So until Zeus and I have patched up our differences and I have been reinstated to my rightful position as earthly Goddess, I am officially advertising receptivity to other religions less volatile.

What I really like about the whole concept of reincarnation is that it gives you a chance to improve -- to finish unfinished business the next time around. Like I can't see how in one lifetime I am ever going to succeed in convincing religious fanatics and ultra conservatives to quit their hell-bent path in destroying the planet and themselves along with it (see blog job description above). On the downside, you seem to have no real control over what you'll be the next incarnation. Reincarnation would be much so better if you could call 'shotgun' on a certain lifestyle and 'dibs' on a person you want in your life the next time round.

A friend recently sent me a website link whereby you enter your birthday and up springs an analysis of who you were in your past life (www.thebigview.com/pastlife/). The site's author claims no responsibility and offers no warranties for said esoteric algorithm used to calculate what your former life may have been (which is probably a good thing for all the people who discover to their horror that they were cockroaches or serial killers).

According to this site, the last time I was seen on earth was around the year 1025. Born a female somewhere in the territory of modern North Africa, I was a handicraftsman or mechanic, seeker of truth and wisdom and may have seen my future lives. My colleagues perceived me as an idealist illuminating the path to the future. The lesson that my last past life brought to my present incarnation: to develop a kind attitude towards people, and to acquire the gift of understanding and compassion.

Oh boy, at the rate I'm going in bringing forth the 'lessons' of my past life I am doomed to regress to a slug.

I don't want people to perceive me as an idealist -- that's just a euphemism for nice people with whacky do-gooder ideas that don't have a chance in hell of getting implemented. I would rather be perceived as an irrefutable Goddess of edicts-that-will-be-heeded: Give up your S.U.V.'s!, your McMansions, your suburban sprawl, your 'scratch-and-itch' addiction to the consumption treadmill! Quit blowing each other up, stop torturing each other, and desist from bullying in the name of God! [at which point we hear the cracking of loud thunder and a flash of lightening]. At this point too Bandit might interject by saying that this idealistic rambling of mine is riddled with hypocrisy... i.e. I am no aging hippie in Birkenstocks living on a commune... I wish I had saved one of his emails to me where he said something to the effect that the perfect world for Anna would be a solar-powered 6-cylinder BMW sports coupe convertible made entirely from recycled produts that gets 80 miles per gallon in the city, has Coach leather seats, and a wine cooler in the trunk. Well you get the idea...



Comments: Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?